Life strategies

Please Don’t Disturb My Peace

Define peace. The dictionary definition is freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Seems pretty straightforward right? So, why do so many  people struggle with finding peace in their lives? Rewind back to the definition and you will find the answer. Still unsure? Ok, I will tell you. Freedom from disturbance. Well what’s a disturbance?

Disturbance: the interruption of a settled and peaceful condition.

Yep, that’s correct! Often times, people struggle with finding peace, because they have too many disturbances in their lives. I’m not talking about disturbances like your children, job, or other everyday responsbilities. I am talking about disturbances that show in up in the form of O.P.O (other peoples opinions) or O.P.T (other peoples thoughts). These little disturbances interrupt people from being able to achieve peace in their lives. How so, you ask? Well, let’s break it down with an example.

A soon to be mother, decides she wants to breastfeed her baby and not only does she want to breastfeed her baby, but she wants to breastfeed on demand, allow them to self ween, oh and she wants to breastfeed in public without a cover. Yes, she has determined this is exactly what she wants to do when her precious bundle arrives. She is at peace with this decision. And then she shares this decision with her sister, mother, friend, husband, coworker. They say, “breastfeed, on demand, until their 2, in public, without a cover!” “You are nuts.” “Breastfeeding, might be ok.” “But on demand, your baby will be spoiled, they are going to use you as a pacifier, you won’t be able to get anything done.” “Self ween, don’t you know that babies don’t need breast milk after the age of 6 months, and they surely should’t be breastfeeding with teeth, AND definitely not when they are walking or able to ask for it, that my dear is INSANE.” “And, what is this, you want to breastfeed in public without a cover, no one wants to see that.” “You need to be modest, that is so inappropriate, there is a time and place for everything.” As a new mother she takes all this information in. Their thoughts begin to interrupt her settled condition. She begins to self doubt her original plan. I mean these people are her loved ones, they wouldn’t steer her wrong, right?

Her bundle is born and as she begins that most sacred and precious moment of breastfeeding, the opinions and thoughts of others begin to rush into her mind and she suddenly feels uneasy. The first time she breastfeeds on demand she feels tension and she wonders if her baby is just using her as a pacifier, she begins to think about the laundry she could be getting done if she wasn’t being a human pacifier. The first time she attempts to breastfeed in public she remembers to put her cover on first, but her little one is screaming. As she puts on her cover, and try to position it so she can get her little one latched on, people are looking at her, and suddenly the tension is back and she thinks, “maybe I should’ve made a bottle, breastfeeding in public isn’t right”. She is suddenly stressed! She is constantly thinking all she wants is a little peace in her life. She thinks peace would come from quiet and tranquility because her bundle is always crying, but she refuses to be a human pacifier as “they” called it. She thinks peace would come if she didn’t have the disturbance of this little one being so demanding and still wanting to breastfeed at 7 months when she is now trying to ween them, because they have teeth. All she wants is peace.

Pause. Peace is right there; lingering in her lost desires. Think back to the peace she felt when she made her decision. That is the peace she is yearning for. This example doesn’t only apply to being a mother and breastfeeding, it applies to every decision that a person makes, feels peace about, then changes their decision because of disturbances.

Disturbances show up frequently in our lives. They can show up when you are trying to decide on a career, which school to attend, or if you should attend school at all, what outfit you should wear, what house you should buy, if you should have kids, where you should live, if you should get married and so on and so on. The saying opinions are like butt holes is true, everyone has one. What we must do is use discernment on what we want to listen to. It’s ok to hear, but take caution in listening. Test everything and hold onto what is good.  Thessalonians 5:21 How do you use discernment? Simple, you have to be SNOB. You have to be nontraditional, organic, and bold. When you think of someone who is a “snob”, they aren’t concerned with what other people think of them. They are only concerned with themselves and their happiness. This could be looked upon as negative, but it can also be a great positive. Not being concerned with what others think of you gives you the opportunity to really listen to your heart, intuition, gut whatever you may call it and decipher what it is that YOU want. Chances are, your desires aren’t going to look like another persons desires this makes you nontraditional. When you begin to honor these desires, you are being organic. (Something is organic when it doesn’t have added artificial agents). These two things make you bold. So, when using discernment listen to yourself first, then hear other peoples thoughts and opinions, contemplate them and ask yourself does these thoughts nurture my organic self or are they adding artificial agents. You will know if they nurture you because you will feel peace. Sure there will be some rough days, but even in the thick of it you will feel peaceful. A flower planted in nurturing soil, continues to grow even in the storm. The flower doesn’t waiver or filter because this storm isn’t disturbing the flower, instead it is watering it’s soil and nurturing it; bringing the flower peace. If you are feeling restless, stressed, or simply do not feel at peace in your life check for disturbances, interruptions, artificial agents. If you find yourself in a storm decipher if the storm is disturbing or nurturing. Once you complete your checks, purge and balance. Purge the the disturbance and rid yourself of any interruptions. This may mean expressing concerns, setting firm boundaries, and/or ending relationships. Whichever direction you go, understand breaking down the walls isn’t easy, but life beyond the walls is beautiful and peaceful.

Life strategies

The purpose of Life is to….. LIVE!

Over the past few months, my life has been turned upside down. (yes that happens to all us) I have found myself having to take a step back and really reevaluate this thing called life. It’s amazing how we can be on the journey of life cruising along, thinking we are heading in the right direction, but suddenly, we look up and think, wait, where am I. Often times, we have to stop, pull over at a rest stop, take a break, and reassess our journey. This journey of life isn’t a short road trip, it’s a long journey.

Many times, I hear people ask what is my purpose, what is the purpose of life, what does it mean to live? We often think, that we have to have some grand purpose in this life and if we aren’t doing something majorly huge, then we aren’t living or our life serves no purpose. During my rest stop break, I started asking myself these same questions. I was confused, discombulated, and honestly I felt lost. I had to get off the road and recollect my thoughts. The funny thing about life is it doesn’t stop when we do. The season keep changing, the earth continues to spin, and people continue to drive right pass you. I realized that taking this rest stop was good for a short time, but I needed to get back on the road and continue on my journey, the longer I sat here the more time I wasted.

I got back in my car and began to drive. (I resumed life) But what was life, what was I resuming? Sure I was functioning, doing the basic things in life. I was driving, turning on my blinkers, stopping at stop lights, turning, checking my mirrors the basic things to get by and survive, but was I really living. This question alone snapped me out of my trance for a brief second. One day, I was on my way to do a mundane, basic life duty and I glanced out of my window to notice a tree that was losing all of it’s leaves. I thought to myself, wow that is such a beautiful sight. This got me to thinking. I started looking at all the trees, some had more leaves than others, some had lost all of their leaves, but no matter the amount of leaves they had they all stood tall and firm! The branches swayed with the wind and there was something majestic and moving about the way the trees lived. It was a heart stopping moment for me. Trees are not concerned with how many leaves they have, the amount of leaves does not define them. A tree with leaves is a tree and tree without leaves is STILL a tree. They are not concerned with the seasons or what will happen to them with each season. They aren’t concerned with the trees surrounding them. Each tree no matter how small or tall stands proud on it’s own. A trees only concern is to LIVE. WIth each season, with each mighty wind, the trees only concern is to blow in the wind and LIVE! How prophetic and profound is that? (i’ll wait while you meditate on it)

 Trees are not concerned with how many leaves they have, the amount of leaves does not define them. A tree with leaves is a tree and tree without leaves is STILL a (1)

Yeah, it’s pretty amazing! With a new sense of reality and thought process, I began to think about how we live our lives. I began to think about how we react when we lose things or people we get angry, sad, we fall over, we shrink, we slouch, sometimes we lose a little of our boldness, and with different seasons we are affected. Society has created this box and forced us into it, making us believe this is how we are supposed to respond, react, and live. In reality, society tried to do the same thing to trees. They try to define a trees purpose and decide when a tree is dead or alive. But despite society attempts trees refuse to succumb to these titles, definitions, and they certainly refuse to live in a box. A tree, society has said, purpose is to provide us shade, even when there is no one to provide shade for a tree still stands tall. We had a tree in our yard that was no longer growing leaves, and my husband declared it was dead. However, the tree still stood tall and strong, was it dead simply because it didn’t look the way society says it should look? I then began to realize, I have been lied to my whole life. The one and only purpose in life is to live, THAT’S IT. No matter what religious, spiritual, or belief system you come from every one of them talk about living. The only command given to Adam and Eve was to live. We taint our very existence with our own thoughts. But thoughts that were given to us by whom? Even Adam and Eve didn’t get the thought of eating the apple from themselves. If you listen to your core, authentic self, it is screaming let me free let me live.

I have been lied to my whole life. The one and only purpose in life is to live.

Ok Tanyell, but how in the world do I live? What does it mean to live? You are doing all this talking about living, but I still don’t know what it means to live. Okay, Okay! To live, means to be free, to enjoy life no matter the season,  the ups and the downs. To live, means to see and marvel in the beauty given to us by Nature. To live, means to love someone and share love with those around you. To live, means to smile, laugh, feel joy. To live, is taking notice of your body and the miracle that it is. To live, is to do more of what makes you happy! To live, is fully grasping how massive the universe is and how small we really are. To live, is to know that you breathing alone and standing tall, is fulfilling a purpose in this universe you may never know nor understand. Do you think a tree knows that it is providing us with oxygen? Does a tree brag and marvel in the idea that without it, humans would die? A tree is simply content with being a tree, swaying in the wind, standing tall and strong, and living through another season. Living, is stepping outside the box and allowing the light to hit your eyes. Living, is seeing all there is to see right in front of you in the present moment. When you are truly living, walls begin to fall down and you begin to experience opportunities you never knew existed. You meet amazing people and hear amazing stories. You go to places and see things you never been or seen before. You gain an unlimited amount of knowledge. You find purpose and joy in things you never knew could bring you such emotion. You focus on each present moment and the beauty that lies within it. Your world opens up to endless possibilities and experiences.  You fully understand that life is an amazing adventure given to us as a gift. When you are living, you understand, truly believe, and feel with your heart there is no other greater purpose in life other than to live. This is our purpose in life.

*Want more ways to start living head over to stop waiting and start living and keep on reading!*

Life strategies

What’s tradition got to do with it?


I recently had a discussion with some friends about Tina Turner giving up her U.S citizenship. The overwhelming thoughts and feelings of my dear friends was shock and disbelief. Many of the comments consisted of, “She must be insane.”, “Why would anyone do that?”, “What exactly made her do that?” and so on. The very idea of doing something so nontraditional and so bold, struck a cord with them. As we had this discussion, I thought this is a pure example of living a nontraditional, organically bold life!  To decide to do something so out of the box and so drastic, because it speaks to you, makes you happy, brings you peace, and heals your soul, however, the world around you is thinking you are absolutely insane, is nothing but organically bold! When I think of Tina Turners life, she has always had this trait within her to live organically bold. To speak so publicly about becoming a Buddhist in a Country dominated by Christianity how bold is that. For me, she is living an organic life. A definition for Organic is without artificial chemicals. An organic life is a life without artificial decisions, influences, beliefs, or thoughts. Artificial meaning anything that is not from within yourself. To live an organic life means to make decisions based on yourself. Sure we all have outside influences and we all care about what others will think at some point in our life. This is what makes us human. The difference between an artificial life and organic life is allowing these outside influences to direct our path and decisions or to make a decision solely based on what others think. Want to know if you are living an organic life ask yourself these questions: Where did I get my current Values and Beliefs? Have these values and beliefs been tested by me, do they work for me, what do they bring to my life? Am I holding onto these values because I don’t know anything else or I am afraid to let them go? Am I where I want to be in my life? What is stopping me from being where I want to be? Am I happy and at peace? What regrets if any do I have? What stop me from doing the things I now regret? And finally if I die tomorrow will I have truly lived a fulfilled, purposeful, and happy life? Once you answer these questions open and honestly you will know if you are living an organic life. Your soul will cry out to you if it is being contaminated with artificial things. If you really listen to your voice within, it will speak to you. Once you have the answer the key is to become bold. Many folks who live organically bold are nontraditional in some form or another. They don’t conform to “society norms.” Because when you are living an organically bold life, there will be something about you that is different from the next person. We are all different, unique, and want different things. Although society tries to define happiness and put a cubicle around happiness, the truth is happiness is not concrete. Happiness looks different to people. When you are living your truths, you realize that you don’t want what everyone else has. You may realize that having a big house or fancy car isn’t really what toots your horn. Maybe happiness to you is traveling abroad, maybe happiness to you is living on a farm in little house, maybe happiness to you is taking public transportation everywhere and never paying a car note, whatever your happiness is you realize it may not look like everyone else definition of happiness. Those who have found their truth and live it, are typically people that other people look at and think, what is wrong with them or I could never. But that is just it, you may not understand the next persons truth or their definition of happiness, but the key is they are living their truths!

Other Organically Bold Individuals! Many of these people achieved great things in their lives, which is further proof that being true to who you are will propel you into the life that you were born to live!


Josephine Baker


Henry James


W.E.B Dubois


Jet Li


Earl Tupper