Define peace. The dictionary definition is freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Seems pretty straightforward right? So, why do so many people struggle with finding peace in their lives? Rewind back to the definition and you will find the answer. Still unsure? Ok, I will tell you. Freedom from disturbance. Well what’s a disturbance?
Disturbance: the interruption of a settled and peaceful condition.
Yep, that’s correct! Often times, people struggle with finding peace, because they have too many disturbances in their lives. I’m not talking about disturbances like your children, job, or other everyday responsbilities. I am talking about disturbances that show in up in the form of O.P.O (other peoples opinions) or O.P.T (other peoples thoughts). These little disturbances interrupt people from being able to achieve peace in their lives. How so, you ask? Well, let’s break it down with an example.
A soon to be mother, decides she wants to breastfeed her baby and not only does she want to breastfeed her baby, but she wants to breastfeed on demand, allow them to self ween, oh and she wants to breastfeed in public without a cover. Yes, she has determined this is exactly what she wants to do when her precious bundle arrives. She is at peace with this decision. And then she shares this decision with her sister, mother, friend, husband, coworker. They say, “breastfeed, on demand, until their 2, in public, without a cover!” “You are nuts.” “Breastfeeding, might be ok.” “But on demand, your baby will be spoiled, they are going to use you as a pacifier, you won’t be able to get anything done.” “Self ween, don’t you know that babies don’t need breast milk after the age of 6 months, and they surely should’t be breastfeeding with teeth, AND definitely not when they are walking or able to ask for it, that my dear is INSANE.” “And, what is this, you want to breastfeed in public without a cover, no one wants to see that.” “You need to be modest, that is so inappropriate, there is a time and place for everything.” As a new mother she takes all this information in. Their thoughts begin to interrupt her settled condition. She begins to self doubt her original plan. I mean these people are her loved ones, they wouldn’t steer her wrong, right?
Her bundle is born and as she begins that most sacred and precious moment of breastfeeding, the opinions and thoughts of others begin to rush into her mind and she suddenly feels uneasy. The first time she breastfeeds on demand she feels tension and she wonders if her baby is just using her as a pacifier, she begins to think about the laundry she could be getting done if she wasn’t being a human pacifier. The first time she attempts to breastfeed in public she remembers to put her cover on first, but her little one is screaming. As she puts on her cover, and try to position it so she can get her little one latched on, people are looking at her, and suddenly the tension is back and she thinks, “maybe I should’ve made a bottle, breastfeeding in public isn’t right”. She is suddenly stressed! She is constantly thinking all she wants is a little peace in her life. She thinks peace would come from quiet and tranquility because her bundle is always crying, but she refuses to be a human pacifier as “they” called it. She thinks peace would come if she didn’t have the disturbance of this little one being so demanding and still wanting to breastfeed at 7 months when she is now trying to ween them, because they have teeth. All she wants is peace.
Pause. Peace is right there; lingering in her lost desires. Think back to the peace she felt when she made her decision. That is the peace she is yearning for. This example doesn’t only apply to being a mother and breastfeeding, it applies to every decision that a person makes, feels peace about, then changes their decision because of disturbances.
Disturbances show up frequently in our lives. They can show up when you are trying to decide on a career, which school to attend, or if you should attend school at all, what outfit you should wear, what house you should buy, if you should have kids, where you should live, if you should get married and so on and so on. The saying opinions are like butt holes is true, everyone has one. What we must do is use discernment on what we want to listen to. It’s ok to hear, but take caution in listening. Test everything and hold onto what is good. Thessalonians 5:21 How do you use discernment? Simple, you have to be SNOB. You have to be nontraditional, organic, and bold. When you think of someone who is a “snob”, they aren’t concerned with what other people think of them. They are only concerned with themselves and their happiness. This could be looked upon as negative, but it can also be a great positive. Not being concerned with what others think of you gives you the opportunity to really listen to your heart, intuition, gut whatever you may call it and decipher what it is that YOU want. Chances are, your desires aren’t going to look like another persons desires this makes you nontraditional. When you begin to honor these desires, you are being organic. (Something is organic when it doesn’t have added artificial agents). These two things make you bold. So, when using discernment listen to yourself first, then hear other peoples thoughts and opinions, contemplate them and ask yourself does these thoughts nurture my organic self or are they adding artificial agents. You will know if they nurture you because you will feel peace. Sure there will be some rough days, but even in the thick of it you will feel peaceful. A flower planted in nurturing soil, continues to grow even in the storm. The flower doesn’t waiver or filter because this storm isn’t disturbing the flower, instead it is watering it’s soil and nurturing it; bringing the flower peace. If you are feeling restless, stressed, or simply do not feel at peace in your life check for disturbances, interruptions, artificial agents. If you find yourself in a storm decipher if the storm is disturbing or nurturing. Once you complete your checks, purge and balance. Purge the the disturbance and rid yourself of any interruptions. This may mean expressing concerns, setting firm boundaries, and/or ending relationships. Whichever direction you go, understand breaking down the walls isn’t easy, but life beyond the walls is beautiful and peaceful.
Tanyell Cole 