Life strategies

Help is on the Way

I was at my local grocery store and decided to use the self checkout lane. These lanes are designed to make our life easier and assist with us getting out of the store faster. However, like most things designed to make life easier, they don’t always do that. Sometimes you go through the self checkout and you find yourself thinking, I should’ve just stood in line.

Thats the thing about life there are no real shortcuts.

As I was checking myself out, I probably had way to many grocery for the self checkout, I heard the machine next to me saying “Help is on the way!” “Help is on the way” over and over. The lady using the machine was frantically looking around for said help. The cashier was busy assisting someone at that moment. The machine continue to sing out “help is on the way!” “help is on the way”. The lady tried to hit a few buttons, move her groceries around in the bagging area, but still nothing. She sighed a loud sigh and looked around again. I glanced at her and gave her a gentle smile and she shook her head in frustration, as she said “where is help when you need it. I can’t get this stupid machine to stop talking this is ridiculous.” I smiled a smile of it will be ok  and said “Yes these things can be frustating. I’m surprised at how busy it is today. I’m sure she will be here soon.” She sighed another heavy sigh, poked the machine a few more times, and then finally gathered up all her grocery, “I’m just going to go get in another line, this is ridiculous. I don’t have time to wait around.” And she sped off.

No Sooner than she sped off, help walked up!

The cashier looked around and said where did they go? “she went to another line, I responded” The cashier cleared the machine and moved on to the next person. This moment was so profound to me.

In the alchemist, Paulo Coelho writes about the universe testing everything we have learned right before we are about to reach our destiny. He says things will get really hard and this is usually when most people give up. They give up right before the thing they really wanted is about to come true.

In life things will get hard, the road to success will be a bumpy ride it is only those that continue the road who will reach the success.

The key to staying the course is being patient and having trust that help is on the way.

When we are in the midst of a storm, it’s easy to get agitated, irritated, frustrated. It becomes the norm to complain. in fact, people expect you to complain. They say things like I don’t know how you are dealing with that, that is crazy how do you do it, better you than me, I couldn’t imagine, maybe you should go back to doing what you use to do, that’s why you don’t do things like that and so on and so on. Often times, they will hop on the bandwagon of complaining and even lead the path. (steer clear of these people)

You have to trust that you are on the path that God has laid out for you, you have to listen to your heart and persevere, you have to be patient knowing that good things come to those who wait. You have to trust the universe and believe that the universe wants you to succeed. You have to trust the lessons you are learning and believe there is something to be learned in every situation. You have to trust help is on the way.

“one dies of thirst just as the palm trees appear on the horizon”-the alchemist

Believing these things will allow you to continue to forge on during the moments of difficulty. The lady in line was just a few moments away from being seen. Had she taken just a few more moments to be patient and maybe ask herself what can I learn in this moment as I wait, her journey may have been easier and in the end faster. On my way out of the store she was still standing in line. Although she may accomplish her goal (checking out) it took a lot longer because she wasn’t patient and she didn’t trust help was on the way. There are no shortcuts to life, we will be tested, we will struggle along the way, but if we are following our hearts the journey will be faster than if we derail from the path, try to turn around, or worse stop.

In the famous words of Dory…..

“just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming”

And believe help is on the way!


Change Your Thoughts

Change Your Thoughts

We all know that our thoughts can control our moods as well as our perspectives. Life may bring us to some difficult situations but it is our thoughts that will control how we handle, cope, and overcome the situation. It is our thoughts that will determine if the situation will control us or we control the situation. Change your thoughts, change your life!

Life strategies

Compromising Yourself


Have you ever been faced with a major life decision? I am sure you have if you are over the age of 10!  Making tough decisions is a hard thing to do, however, it is even more difficult when we begin to consider other people and how they will view our decision. When we start to take other people into consideration when facing a difficult or major life decision  we begin to compromise ourselves. Let me explain. I am not speaking of the will affect others in your life. When faced with these types of decisions, it is important to discuss them with those that they will affected. I am speaking of the decisions that will only affect your well being and your future. What I have found, and have even found myself do, is that we will think about how others will view our decision before we begin to decide how the decision will affect us.

Let’s use the example of starting a business vs going to college. Many times, people will look at the latter and say well if I don’t go to college then people will look down on me, they will think I am uneducated, my parents may get upset with me, my friends may not want to be my friends anymore. These are the things they begin to weigh in their head. Often times, all the things you have taken into consideration are about other people, and not about you. Everything in your heart could be saying start that business, however, because it is against the grain ‘outside the box’ it couldn’t possibly be the right thing to do. After weighing all the pros and cons or what I like to call the selves and norms, you realize the pros or selves outweigh the cons or norms. It was very difficult to come to this decision, and now you are pondering with the idea of delivering this message to the world. What most people do is they begin to formulate ‘explanations’ in their head on why they went with the latter. This way when you deliver the message you can have a valid reason on why you are making this particular decision. This is a lot of WORK, and more so unnecessary WORK. Why must you compromise yourself in order to make others feel comfortable? Imagine what would happen if you stopped compromising yourself. What would that look like, feel like, be like? Here is a hint AMAZING!

You’re probably thinking, how do I do that? Simple stay true to you! You are the person that has to live with the decisions you make, therefore, the first step is to way the selves and the selves. What the heck does that mean Tanyell? That means when you are faced with a major decision ask yourself how will this effect me negatively and how will this effect me positively. You are taking everybody else out. This isn’t about what will my mother think. Who cares!? Your mother is living her life and has lived her life, now you have to live yours. And let’s be honest unless this decision involves you hurting yourself or someone else, your mother or anyone else for that matter should love you regardless. They may not agree and they aren’t obligated to agree, but they should still love, respect, and support you. So, step one weigh the selves and selves. 

The second step is ask yourself is this something I will be ok with if I never ever get the chance to do it and is this a once in a lifetime opportunity? What are you talking about Tanyell? Well, let’s use our example of college. If you choose to start a business and skip going to college, will you be 100% ok with the idea of never going to college. The second part to that question is, is this your only opportunity to go to college? You would apply this same question to starting a business. Take an athlete for example. You have some athletes that draft out of college, their thought process is playing professionally is a once in a lifetime chance, I will regret it if I don’t, and I can always go back to college. So, step two can you live without it, is this a once in a lifetime thing. 

The third step to stop compromising yourself is release explanations. Don’t I owe people an explanation Tanyell? Negative! You do not owe anyone an explanation on how you are living your life (unless that person is your lifeline). This only applies to those who are self sufficient and self sustained. Now that we have that little side note out of the way let us move on. When you are paying your own bills and taking care of yourself independently, you do not need to explain to anyone the reason behind your decision making. You know what is best for you and how something will affect your life. Outsiders are simply looking in from where, the outside. Sure, it’s nice to have another perspective but ultimately the decision is yours. When you begin to come up with rationalizations on your decisions, you are compromising your truth. The explanation is simple because I want to, it makes me happy, this is who I am, this is my belief, and so on. 

Step three release explanations.

     This only applies to people who are self sufficient and self sustained!

The most important thing to remember is in the end we have to live with us and all of our decisions. If you make a decision based on someone else, they may go on with their lives happily while you are left miserable. Remember society doesn’t have to live with your decision, you do. In the end no one is responsible for your happiness or success except you, therefore it is your job to provide yourself with the tools to do that and unless the tools/resources you are deciding to use are hurting yourself or someone else, you do not owe anyone an explanation on your decision making. No one said life outside the box was easy, but there is certainly more room to be free to be you.