I debated over and over if I was going to post this video. I made this video for myself, as all my kids have photo videos, so I felt it was only right that Little Lani had one also! I also posted this video just for family and friends to see our precious baby. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share this with the entire world, but after many prayers, and soul searching I decided why not. My baby had a voice and purpose even if he only lived while in my womb. His voice deserves to be heard. I want to share our memories of our precious baby. Yesterday we attended a memorial service given by the local hospital, for parents who have lost children within the last year. They talked about how a life is a life no matter how short or long. That touched me so deeply, because there are often times I feel guilty for feeling sad about my loss when I know that there are parents who suffered far more worse than myself, but despite it all Lani was my baby! I shared 6 wonderful months with him. I could feel him move and kick. He was my baby boy. I don’t want him to be forgotten, and I slowly learning how to deal with this unique type of grief. I am learning to talk about him more and express my sadness more. It’s so easy for me to hold everything in and then cry in the shower or in the bathroom when no one is around. My due date was April 18th/19th. Which was today! So I thought what a fitting day to share the only video I have of my baby boy.
We Love you Jabulani jr, and we miss you so very much! You were and still are truly loved!! I know that you are in a better place and that your granny is loving on you every chance she gets! I’m sure you and your cousin are her pride and joy! We can’t wait to see you again and hug you in our arms!