Please Don’t Disturb My Peace

Define peace. The dictionary definition is freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Seems pretty straightforward right? So, why do so many  people struggle with finding peace in their lives? Rewind back to the definition and you will find the answer. Still unsure? Ok, I will tell you. Freedom from disturbance. Well what’s a disturbance?

Disturbance: the interruption of a settled and peaceful condition.

Yep, that’s correct! Often times, people struggle with finding peace, because they have too many disturbances in their lives. I’m not talking about disturbances like your children, job, or other everyday responsbilities. I am talking about disturbances that show in up in the form of O.P.O (other peoples opinions) or O.P.T (other peoples thoughts). These little disturbances interrupt people from being able to achieve peace in their lives. How so, you ask? Well, let’s break it down with an example.

A soon to be mother, decides she wants to breastfeed her baby and not only does she want to breastfeed her baby, but she wants to breastfeed on demand, allow them to self ween, oh and she wants to breastfeed in public without a cover. Yes, she has determined this is exactly what she wants to do when her precious bundle arrives. She is at peace with this decision. And then she shares this decision with her sister, mother, friend, husband, coworker. They say, “breastfeed, on demand, until their 2, in public, without a cover!” “You are nuts.” “Breastfeeding, might be ok.” “But on demand, your baby will be spoiled, they are going to use you as a pacifier, you won’t be able to get anything done.” “Self ween, don’t you know that babies don’t need breast milk after the age of 6 months, and they surely should’t be breastfeeding with teeth, AND definitely not when they are walking or able to ask for it, that my dear is INSANE.” “And, what is this, you want to breastfeed in public without a cover, no one wants to see that.” “You need to be modest, that is so inappropriate, there is a time and place for everything.” As a new mother she takes all this information in. Their thoughts begin to interrupt her settled condition. She begins to self doubt her original plan. I mean these people are her loved ones, they wouldn’t steer her wrong, right?

Her bundle is born and as she begins that most sacred and precious moment of breastfeeding, the opinions and thoughts of others begin to rush into her mind and she suddenly feels uneasy. The first time she breastfeeds on demand she feels tension and she wonders if her baby is just using her as a pacifier, she begins to think about the laundry she could be getting done if she wasn’t being a human pacifier. The first time she attempts to breastfeed in public she remembers to put her cover on first, but her little one is screaming. As she puts on her cover, and try to position it so she can get her little one latched on, people are looking at her, and suddenly the tension is back and she thinks, “maybe I should’ve made a bottle, breastfeeding in public isn’t right”. She is suddenly stressed! She is constantly thinking all she wants is a little peace in her life. She thinks peace would come from quiet and tranquility because her bundle is always crying, but she refuses to be a human pacifier as “they” called it. She thinks peace would come if she didn’t have the disturbance of this little one being so demanding and still wanting to breastfeed at 7 months when she is now trying to ween them, because they have teeth. All she wants is peace.

Pause. Peace is right there; lingering in her lost desires. Think back to the peace she felt when she made her decision. That is the peace she is yearning for. This example doesn’t only apply to being a mother and breastfeeding, it applies to every decision that a person makes, feels peace about, then changes their decision because of disturbances.

Disturbances show up frequently in our lives. They can show up when you are trying to decide on a career, which school to attend, or if you should attend school at all, what outfit you should wear, what house you should buy, if you should have kids, where you should live, if you should get married and so on and so on. The saying opinions are like butt holes is true, everyone has one. What we must do is use discernment on what we want to listen to. It’s ok to hear, but take caution in listening. Test everything and hold onto what is good.  Thessalonians 5:21 How do you use discernment? Simple, you have to be SNOB. You have to be nontraditional, organic, and bold. When you think of someone who is a “snob”, they aren’t concerned with what other people think of them. They are only concerned with themselves and their happiness. This could be looked upon as negative, but it can also be a great positive. Not being concerned with what others think of you gives you the opportunity to really listen to your heart, intuition, gut whatever you may call it and decipher what it is that YOU want. Chances are, your desires aren’t going to look like another persons desires this makes you nontraditional. When you begin to honor these desires, you are being organic. (Something is organic when it doesn’t have added artificial agents). These two things make you bold. So, when using discernment listen to yourself first, then hear other peoples thoughts and opinions, contemplate them and ask yourself does these thoughts nurture my organic self or are they adding artificial agents. You will know if they nurture you because you will feel peace. Sure there will be some rough days, but even in the thick of it you will feel peaceful. A flower planted in nurturing soil, continues to grow even in the storm. The flower doesn’t waiver or filter because this storm isn’t disturbing the flower, instead it is watering it’s soil and nurturing it; bringing the flower peace. If you are feeling restless, stressed, or simply do not feel at peace in your life check for disturbances, interruptions, artificial agents. If you find yourself in a storm decipher if the storm is disturbing or nurturing. Once you complete your checks, purge and balance. Purge the the disturbance and rid yourself of any interruptions. This may mean expressing concerns, setting firm boundaries, and/or ending relationships. Whichever direction you go, understand breaking down the walls isn’t easy, but life beyond the walls is beautiful and peaceful.

The purpose of Life is to….. LIVE!

Over the past few months, my life has been turned upside down. (yes that happens to all us) I have found myself having to take a step back and really reevaluate this thing called life. It’s amazing how we can be on the journey of life cruising along, thinking we are heading in the right direction, but suddenly, we look up and think, wait, where am I. Often times, we have to stop, pull over at a rest stop, take a break, and reassess our journey. This journey of life isn’t a short road trip, it’s a long journey.

Many times, I hear people ask what is my purpose, what is the purpose of life, what does it mean to live? We often think, that we have to have some grand purpose in this life and if we aren’t doing something majorly huge, then we aren’t living or our life serves no purpose. During my rest stop break, I started asking myself these same questions. I was confused, discombulated, and honestly I felt lost. I had to get off the road and recollect my thoughts. The funny thing about life is it doesn’t stop when we do. The season keep changing, the earth continues to spin, and people continue to drive right pass you. I realized that taking this rest stop was good for a short time, but I needed to get back on the road and continue on my journey, the longer I sat here the more time I wasted.

I got back in my car and began to drive. (I resumed life) But what was life, what was I resuming? Sure I was functioning, doing the basic things in life. I was driving, turning on my blinkers, stopping at stop lights, turning, checking my mirrors the basic things to get by and survive, but was I really living. This question alone snapped me out of my trance for a brief second. One day, I was on my way to do a mundane, basic life duty and I glanced out of my window to notice a tree that was losing all of it’s leaves. I thought to myself, wow that is such a beautiful sight. This got me to thinking. I started looking at all the trees, some had more leaves than others, some had lost all of their leaves, but no matter the amount of leaves they had they all stood tall and firm! The branches swayed with the wind and there was something majestic and moving about the way the trees lived. It was a heart stopping moment for me. Trees are not concerned with how many leaves they have, the amount of leaves does not define them. A tree with leaves is a tree and tree without leaves is STILL a tree. They are not concerned with the seasons or what will happen to them with each season. They aren’t concerned with the trees surrounding them. Each tree no matter how small or tall stands proud on it’s own. A trees only concern is to LIVE. WIth each season, with each mighty wind, the trees only concern is to blow in the wind and LIVE! How prophetic and profound is that? (i’ll wait while you meditate on it)

 Trees are not concerned with how many leaves they have, the amount of leaves does not define them. A tree with leaves is a tree and tree without leaves is STILL a tree.man-159771_1280 (1)

Yeah, it’s pretty amazing! With a new sense of reality and thought process, I began to think about how we live our lives. I began to think about how we react when we lose things or people we get angry, sad, we fall over, we shrink, we slouch, sometimes we lose a little of our boldness, and with different seasons we are affected. Society has created this box and forced us into it, making us believe this is how we are supposed to respond, react, and live. In reality, society tried to do the same thing to trees. They try to define a trees purpose and decide when a tree is dead or alive. But despite society attempts trees refuse to succumb to these titles, definitions, and they certainly refuse to live in a box. A tree, society has said, purpose is to provide us shade, even when there is no one to provide shade for a tree still stands tall. We had a tree in our yard that was no longer growing leaves, and my husband declared it was dead. However, the tree still stood tall and strong, was it dead simply because it didn’t look the way society says it should look? I then began to realize, I have been lied to my whole life. The one and only purpose in life is to live, THAT’S IT. No matter what religious, spiritual, or belief system you come from every one of them talk about living. The only command given to Adam and Eve was to live. We taint our very existence with our own thoughts. But thoughts that were given to us by whom? Even Adam and Eve didn’t get the thought of eating the apple from themselves. If you listen to your core, authentic self, it is screaming let me free let me live.

I have been lied to my whole life. The one and only purpose in life is to live.

Ok Tanyell, but how in the world do I live? What does it mean to live? You are doing all this talking about living, but I still don’t know what it means to live. Okay, Okay! To live, means to be free, to enjoy life no matter the season,  the ups and the downs. To live, means to see and marvel in the beauty given to us by Nature. To live, means to love someone and share love with those around you. To live, means to smile, laugh, feel joy. To live, is taking notice of your body and the miracle that it is. To live, is to do more of what makes you happy! To live, is fully grasping how massive the universe is and how small we really are. To live, is to know that you breathing alone and standing tall, is fulfilling a purpose in this universe you may never know nor understand. Do you think a tree knows that it is providing us with oxygen? Does a tree brag and marvel in the idea that without it, humans would die? A tree is simply content with being a tree, swaying in the wind, standing tall and strong, and living through another season. Living, is stepping outside the box and allowing the light to hit your eyes. Living, is seeing all there is to see right in front of you in the present moment. When you are truly living, walls begin to fall down and you begin to experience opportunities you never knew existed. You meet amazing people and hear amazing stories. You go to places and see things you never been or seen before. You gain an unlimited amount of knowledge. You find purpose and joy in things you never knew could bring you such emotion. You focus on each present moment and the beauty that lies within it. Your world opens up to endless possibilities and experiences.  You fully understand that life is an amazing adventure given to us as a gift. When you are living, you understand, truly believe, and feel with your heart there is no other greater purpose in life other than to live. This is our purpose in life.

*Want more ways to start living head over to stop waiting and start living and keep on reading!*

Life is a reflection of Choices

I use to think life was predetermined or that we all had a fate. I had the thought process of what’s meant to be will be what’s not won’t. And although I still believe this to be true, I don’t believe it is completely true. My thought’s on life are shaped and reshaped daily. I am forever growing, changing, and evolving. This, to me, is what leads to wisdom, enlightenment, and peace. I recently had a growth spurt, and my view on life shifted. I have come to believe that life is simply several choices being played out in reality. Each choice that I make leads to another set of choices, that ultimately leads to my reality. Think of it as a movie, choices is the script, life is the movie, and you are the director, The director writes the script and the script determines the movie. You make the choices and the choices determine your life.

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I recently read the book The Other Wes Moore. It was a well written and fascinating story about two young men who share the same name, similar backgrounds, grew up in similar neighborhoods, yet one is serving a life sentence in prison while the other one was a Rhodes Scholar. While reading this book, it was interesting to see how each one of their choices lead them to their current realities. They were each faced with several life changing choices and their decisions shaped their fate. You often hear people say, “I was dealt a bad hand” this saying holds truth. There are many people who are simply dealt a bad hand in life, however how they play that hand can determine how the game ends. We don’t always get to choose our cards, but we get to choose how we play those cards.  What I took away from this book is that my current situation is an outcome of the choices I have made both good and bad. My life is a reflection of my choices. There are some choices I regret making and some that bring me joy, however, every single one of those choices lead me to this exact moment. To remove or change any of those choices would certainly change the movie. While this idea may explain why many people suffer from depression and have regrets do to their past choices, it also gives us hope in understanding that with every new day comes an opportunity to change our future. Understanding the power choices have on our lives makes me take pause. The good news is, if you don’t like where your life is going, you don’t like the script you can change it! With one little choice your entire life can be set on a new path.

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When I look at my children, especially my babies, the joy, thrill, and new expectations they have for every single day, it becomes clear to me on what I could experience with every new day. Waking up every day with no regrets from yesterday, because today will bring new opportunities, new choices, new direction, and a chance to course correct can be liberating and freeing! There is freedom in knowing that life offers us new chances every single day to get it right. In order to fully enjoy this gift you must be mindful in your present moments. Taking each and every choice seriously and using great thought. To take a choice for granted can be detrimental, because that choice may ultimately be your last choice. Here is another analogy (for those that love analogies). It’s like a game of chess, you have many choices in the beginning of the game, but with each choice comes either more choices or fewer choices. As you continue to play, if you continue to make bad choices, one of those moves are going to be your last moves because you will have nowhere else to go. That one move became your fatal move your last choice. Knowing and understanding this, you must be direct in your choices. One more analogy! Life is a journey. We are going along for the ride and on the road we will come to lights, stop signs, crossroads, and many other traffic situations that require us to make a choice. How we choose, and what we decide to do will ultimately determine our destination. If you can make conscious choices while enjoying the journey, life will certainly be good.

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10 Steps to improve your life

Here are 10 Steps that could improve your life and begin to break down the walls in your life. Try to apply just one of these to your life for a week and see the impact it has on your life and watch the walls begin to crumble. Then share your experience with me!

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Are you a chronic complainer?

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What is with people and complaining?  Seriously, what does complaining do for people that they insist on doing it? Does it provide some type of euphoria? Why is it sooo extremely difficult for people to just be happy? No matter what the circumstance is people just never seem to be happy. I was watching The Bible over the weekend, and they came to the scene from the book of Exodus when Moses had assisted in setting his people free from the hands of pharaoh. In the scene, the people were at the red sea and they were all complaining, yelling, and so upset with Moses. They were complaining about the location he had brought them to, complaining about food, complaining about everything. I thought to myself, really people this man (with the help of God) just rescued you from slavery and a life of poverty and torture and yet all you can do is complain. Then it dawned on me this is true for many people. You can give some people the moon with a red bow and they will say, I asked for the sun or why is the bow red. You have those women that complain about their husband, their children, their job. Those men that complain about their wife, their job, their life. I decided to dig a little deeper into understanding complaining, and what I learned is that complaining does in fact provide people with something, it’s called connection! What every human being wants is connection to feel connected to other people. Because complaining is a universal language, what better way to connect to others than through complaining and sharing in unhappiness. I have been to several play groups and the moms will sit together and somehow it turns into a big complaint fest almost to the point of competition on whose complaint is bigger and worse. It amazes me that you if don’t participate in this complaining fest you are isolated, and sometimes even frowned on. Even though connecting to other people is essential for human survival,  and complaining can be a healthy outlet, there is a such thing as too much complaining and becoming a chronic complainer.

“I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.” Indian Proverb

My question today is, are you a chronic complainer? Well, Tanyell, I don’t think I am. I mean I don’t really complain, I just state the facts. It’s not complaining when you aren’t happy about something. I wouldn’t necessarily say I complain, I just say when I don’t like something.  These statements are fair, valid, and may prove that you are an expressive complainer, however they may also be cover ups for a chronic complainer. So let us explore the chronic complainer.

Symptoms of  a Chronic Complainer consist of but are not limited too:
never satisfied
complain without the hope of connecting or resolution
complain but never listen to others complaints
compare their complaints to others in order to prove theirs is worst
unable to see when others aren’t interested in hearing their complaints
mostly negative
complain to anyone who will listen
always the victim

When a person is around a chronic complainer they leave feeling depressed, drained, sad, annoyed, and feeling like the conversation was pointless and time-consuming. They feel as though the relationship may be one-sided and unsure on what they are getting from the relationship. As a chronic complainer, the person tends to complain to just about anyone about anything.  When the person offers advice or solutions, the chronic complainer typically does not adhere to them. They complain without purpose. In their complaining they are usually the victim and it is everyone else around them that is the problem. A chronic complainer will typically dominate the conversations with others. If you find this to be you or find yourself surrounded by a Chronic complainer, have no fear there is treatment.

Treatment for Chronic Complaining
The next time you find yourself getting ready to launch out some complaints, ask yourself three questions.  Why is this complaint important, who am I complaining to, and what do I hope to accomplish by launching this complaint. By asking yourself these questions, it allows you time to really marinate on if the proposed complaint is in fact a valid and expressive complaint or if you are on your way into chronic complaining mode. I don’t get it Tanyell, this isn’t making sense to me. Ok, let me give you an example. You have a complaint about your friends children never cleaning up after themselves when they come over to play. You’re friend just left and you are getting ready to launch this complaint to your loving husband. The first question you ask yourself, why is this complaint important? (Because you are tired of your friends kids leaving a huge mess for you and your poor child to clean up after they leave, adding one more thing to your already long to do list. You feel as though it is inconsiderate). Ok, that is valid. Next, Who are you launching this complaint to? (My husband). Ok, valid. What are you hoping to accomplish from launching this complaint? (I need validation in knowing that I am not wrong for feeling this way, and I need a way to approach her and address this issue). Valid. This complaint passes and may be launched. The second part to treating chronic complaining is when you approach the person who is receiving the complaint let them know before launching what you need from them. “Honey I need to talk to you about something. I need to make sure I am not crazy in feeling this way, and if I am not crazy some suggestions on the best way to handle it.” By doing this you are allowing the other person a clear understanding of their purpose, therefore, they do not feel drained after the conversation. By taking these very easy steps prior to launching a complaint, you can easily deter yourself from becoming a chronic complainer.

“People who never achieve happiness are the ones who complain whenever they’re awake, and whenever they’re asleep, they are thinking about what to complain about tomorrow.” Adam Zimbler 

Although complaining can provide some relief and it can be healthy, there are times to see the cup half full and not complain. Many times complaining doesn’t serve a purpose at all. Going back to the story of Moses and Exodus, did they really have reason to complain? What was there complaining going to achieve? In reality their complaining was pure proof of ungratefulness and the inability to be satisfied. Complaining  can sometimes say, yea sure I have somethings but these things aren’t good enough. What is for me isn’t good enough for me. When you really look at your life, should you be complaining? This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to be better or do greater things, it simply means instead of complaining be like Nike and Just do it. There is no need in complaining about the cup being half empty. Complaining isn’t going to fill the cup up. What will fill the cup is direct action from you. Complaining simply slows this action down.  Imagine what would happen if you went one full day without complaining, and instead made improvements or actions toward improving the things you were unhappy about. Imagine the joy you would feel, the relief, the freedom from worry. How much easier would life be if you simply went to the friend and expressed your dislike of her behavior and rather than complaining about it.  Although complaining can be an outlet, it often times leaves us feeling worse, drained, confused, upset, madder, and array of other unwarranted feelings. The bad far outweighs the good when it comes to complaining. Typically people who complain less and see the glass half full are happier, less stressed, and many times successful. Why focus on the negative, if you don’t like something change it and if you can’t change it, there is no sense in complaining about it. The time and energy you spend complaining on things you could be using changing things.

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” Anthony J. D’Angelo 

The next time you find yourself at a complaining party, really take a moment and ask yourself am I getting pleasure out of this, are these people happy, is this how I want to spend my time, what am I getting from this, and what could I be doing right now instead of this? Then focus in on the people at the complaining party and decide if you want to be like any of these people. Do any of these people hold traits, qualities, or even the kind of life you would like to see for yourself? If you find the answer to these questions is no, it may be time to find yourself a new party to attend.

“The person  enjoying life is to busy living life and therefore does not have time to complain about life” Tanyell

What’s tradition got to do with it?

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I recently had a discussion with some friends about Tina Turner giving up her U.S citizenship. The overwhelming thoughts and feelings of my dear friends was shock and disbelief. Many of the comments consisted of, “She must be insane.”, “Why would anyone do that?”, “What exactly made her do that?” and so on. The very idea of doing something so nontraditional and so bold, struck a cord with them. As we had this discussion, I thought this is a pure example of living a nontraditional, organically bold life!  To decide to do something so out of the box and so drastic, because it speaks to you, makes you happy, brings you peace, and heals your soul, however, the world around you is thinking you are absolutely insane, is nothing but organically bold! When I think of Tina Turners life, she has always had this trait within her to live organically bold. To speak so publicly about becoming a Buddhist in a Country dominated by Christianity how bold is that. For me, she is living an organic life. A definition for Organic is without artificial chemicals. An organic life is a life without artificial decisions, influences, beliefs, or thoughts. Artificial meaning anything that is not from within yourself. To live an organic life means to make decisions based on yourself. Sure we all have outside influences and we all care about what others will think at some point in our life. This is what makes us human. The difference between an artificial life and organic life is allowing these outside influences to direct our path and decisions or to make a decision solely based on what others think. Want to know if you are living an organic life ask yourself these questions: Where did I get my current Values and Beliefs? Have these values and beliefs been tested by me, do they work for me, what do they bring to my life? Am I holding onto these values because I don’t know anything else or I am afraid to let them go? Am I where I want to be in my life? What is stopping me from being where I want to be? Am I happy and at peace? What regrets if any do I have? What stop me from doing the things I now regret? And finally if I die tomorrow will I have truly lived a fulfilled, purposeful, and happy life? Once you answer these questions open and honestly you will know if you are living an organic life. Your soul will cry out to you if it is being contaminated with artificial things. If you really listen to your voice within, it will speak to you. Once you have the answer the key is to become bold. Many folks who live organically bold are nontraditional in some form or another. They don’t conform to “society norms.” Because when you are living an organically bold life, there will be something about you that is different from the next person. We are all different, unique, and want different things. Although society tries to define happiness and put a cubicle around happiness, the truth is happiness is not concrete. Happiness looks different to people. When you are living your truths, you realize that you don’t want what everyone else has. You may realize that having a big house or fancy car isn’t really what toots your horn. Maybe happiness to you is traveling abroad, maybe happiness to you is living on a farm in little house, maybe happiness to you is taking public transportation everywhere and never paying a car note, whatever your happiness is you realize it may not look like everyone else definition of happiness. Those who have found their truth and live it, are typically people that other people look at and think, what is wrong with them or I could never. But that is just it, you may not understand the next persons truth or their definition of happiness, but the key is they are living their truths!

Other Organically Bold Individuals! Many of these people achieved great things in their lives, which is further proof that being true to who you are will propel you into the life that you were born to live!

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Josephine Baker

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Henry James

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W.E.B Dubois

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Jet Li

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Earl Tupper

How to stop waiting and start living

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Have you showed up in life yet, or are you simply waiting?

Are you spending your life going through the motions, but not actually living?

So many times I hear people say, “I can’t wait until my kids are grown”, “I can’t wait until I get a new job”, “I can’t wait until I lose weight”, “I can’t wait until I’m debt free”, “I can’t wait until I graduate”, or “I can’t wait until Friday”. People spend their lives waiting. Waiting on the next big thing, waiting on things to change, waiting on a miracle.

While you are waiting, life is still happening.

That is the thing about waiting, life doesn’t wait with us. Life doesn’t say, “Oh let me stand still until this happens.” Nope, life continues on! While you are waiting, several busses are passing you by and before you know it life has passed you by,  you find yourself thinking where did the time go?

It is time to stop waiting around, it is time to show up in your life and arrive!

I want to share some really sad news with you, you’re dying.

I’m not sure if the doctor has told you or not, but the truth is you are terminally ill. I am not sure how much longer you have left, but it isn’t looking good. You may be thinking, “Geez, Thanks Tanyell for that wonderful information.” But the truth is, we are all dying. Everyday that we take a breath, we are one day closer to our last breath. In fact, Death is the only thing guaranteed in life, the one thing you can count on.

Imagine if you took this message to heart, and you really began to live your life as though you were dying.

Would you still be waiting?

Now that I have your attention, I want to share a very simple formula to stop waiting and start living!

The formula is A.R.R.I.V.E™! What exactly does ARRIVE mean? Appreciate, Rejoice, Respect, Improve, Vaporize, and Enjoy every single day! This is how you ARRIVE in life and stop waiting.

Everyday when you wake up ARRIVE!

Start with appreciating your life and the breath that you are breathing. Before you take one step out of the bed in the morning, say thank you for the life you have. Understanding, yes things could always be better, but also understanding  things could always be worst. You hate your job…you have a job! You wish you were skinnier…..you’re not immobile. Appreciate what you have, appreciate what you don’t have! I may have bills, but I am so thankful I am not homeless. I am so appreciative that I don’t have a paralyzing illness.

There are many things we could have and thankfully we do not!

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 After you have taken the time to appreciate your life for what it is, Rejoice! Get excited about the day. Think about it this way, someone took their last breath and someone is taking their last breath; however, today wasn’t your day.

There are so many ways to get excited in the morning when you may be feeling down.  Play your favorite song, meditate, dance, drink a good cup of coffee. Whatever you need to do, take the time to really rejoice in the day.

The next step is to Respect yourself and your life. When  you really begin to respect yourself and your life, you begin to take pride in the things you do. When you really respect yourself, you take the time out to feed yourself a decent and nourishing meal as well as begin to watch the things you put into your body. When you respect yourself, you take pride in your job and the things that you are doing at work, and if you feel under appreciated, over worked, or under paid you respect yourself enough to find something more deserving.

Those who respect themselves are only going to expect, receive, and give the best for themselves.

Once you respect yourself, you can begin to Improve yourself and Ignite a fire. Everyday is another day to improve something you are unhappy about. Rather than waiting, begin to improve and do those things now. “As soon as my kids are older, we are going to take more vacations” Ignite that fire now! What is your reason for waiting? Finances? Improve your finances, so that you can ignite the fire, and take those vacations now.

Whatever it is that you are waiting on to be different in order for you to start living your life, you begin to improve and ignite the fire to those things.

You are no longer waiting around for things to fall into place, instead you are improving your situation, however, you can and beginning to ignite a fire within yourself and life that is going to vaporize any negativity and drama that you may have been facing before.

Vaporize the drama and negativity in your life. You have ignited a fire in your life and with that fire you can turn that negativity into a gas that disappears! When you are trying to live your life, you can’t be held down by other people. These people are the people who find a way to discuss everything that is negative in their life and your life. You know when you are in the presence of this person, because when you leave them you feel drained, sad, or depressed. You leave them worrying and feeling like the weight of the world is now on your shoulder. These are the people you must Vaporize.

If you want to soar and really begin to the see the magnificent sights of this thing called life, you have to get rid of the dead weight. What and/or who is holding you down, back, and have you still believing that you have to wait for the perfect moment to live.

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The final step is to get excited and energized about living life! Surround yourself with happy people, express your excitement about life, YOUR life. If you find yourself feeling down and out, recharge your battery and regain your energy and excitement about life. You may need to put on a great song and dance, take a bath, go shopping, spend time with your children, or whatever it is that brings you joy and energy! The goal is to feel the positive energy in your life and get excited about it!

I understand that life isn’t a cake walk, and there will be times that you don’t want to get on the bus. There will be times you find yourself waiting on things to change, however remember life will continue on.

When you begin to understand that the bus isn’t going to wait for you and things aren’t going to change without you being in the game, you will finally begin to live life.

Once you begin to live life and ARRIVE everyday you will certainly see life begin to change and suddenly you are no longer waiting, but you are on the bus and enjoying the ride!

Everyone has a destination in their mind on where they see life going, but the key is to enjoy the journey on the way to the destination. It is in the journey of life that we find joy, happiness, love, wisdom, and peace!

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we WAIT so long to begin it -W.M Lewis